Lea, I read your story and working predicament. My heart goes out to you. No one knows how exhausting nursing is unless they are nurses. One thing I thought of that you might be able to do is an "After Hour" answering service for physician groups. I hope you can finish your RN degree, you worked so long and hard. Hang in there and don't let the state push you around. You know your situation better than anyone. Hugs to you!

Thank you for your kind words. It’s nice to have so much in common with someone else. I used to do 12-16 hr shifts 3-5 in a row depending on the need and I always helped my lnas on the floor as I knew what it was like and wasn’t to proud to help out when needed. The lnas used to say I ran circles around the other nurses as they didn’t like to help like it was above them. Now I can’t do nearly as much. I know my body isn’t even close to being ready for work as it takes me all day to clean a bathroom another full day to get laundry done etc.. yet disability is kicking me off and telling me to work because “you have improved since last two years and are able to work” I hope I improved from last two years. I went in with two weeks to live in 2022 to having stem cell transplant to 2021 I had breathing tube twice, dialysis, oxygen, etc.. so yea I sure hope I improved from the past two years but that doesn’t make my body ready especially still being on chemo. I tried going back to nursing and couldn’t handle it and then I tried daycare and even that was to much. All because they wanted me to do work program and said it wouldn’t effect me for trying but now they are taking it away and saying I owe them. It was a trap and I fell for it. How would I know I’ve never been in this situation before. I have worked my whole life and I’m the type of person to push herself to try. I was working and doing the nursing program when I was given two weeks to live and went into the hospital. I couldn’t hardly do my job then but I had a great support of coworkers who helped me get through my shifts up to the end and my daughter drove me to school as I was to tired and weak to drive the hour each way. But I don’t feel I should sit here and push myself when I really need to heal and I take naps throughout the day. Just to please the state.

LeaPowers, Wow! You are the kind of person I look up to. I had many of the jobs you describe--I started life on a farm with chores to do. I later volunteered at a NH as a Candy striper and was a bed maker, water pitcher distributer. I returned later in life to be a CNA/TMA, but never was able to get that LPN work in as I was a mother and a farm wife during the recession and farm crisis of the '80s. We just didn't have the extra cash to swing that so I am impressed with all you accomplished. You are definitely a hard worker. Unfortunately, our bodies take time to heal and I believe that is what you are doing right now. I got really impatient with my body as it has never let me down. I have always had all the energy and strength I needed to do whatever I needed to do-- including double shifts on the floor. Now, is different. My body is still amazing but I do have to take time to rest. It took me at least 3 years to gather my strength back--I had a fraction of the problems you have faced. You didn't ramble but just told your truth. Not everyone is able to understand the struggle, but I do and I'm sure others on this site do too. I only struggle with CML you got a double whammy, I'm not sure what that means but it has to be taxing for your system. Hang in there, I pray that your daily routine returns so life is easier and enjoyable. Be good to yourself, do what is right for you. Take some time to enjoy still being here.--jmb

So sorry you went thru all that. Pray you are feeling better.

Yes I was diagnosed with both CML and AML. I started my battle March 6,2020. I had stem cell transplant October 20,2020. My son was my only match and donor. I was in and out of icu a lot with infections. I had reactions to medications, I ended up with breathing tube twice. I was on oxygen for 8 months and dialysis for 6 months as my kidneys had failed. A lot of prayers got me off the oxygen and dialysis. However I have fluid on my right lung that is stable after being drained twice and boy was that painful. I now have shortness of breath doing any activity. But because it’s been over a year since transplant disability is telling me I’m no longer disabled and are telling me I can work. Like I won a prize. Don’t get me wrong I have worked my whole life. Started working on a family farm at 4 years old, babysitting at 10, bagger in grocery store at 15, 16 I started working at a nursing home as a bed maker, did laundry and housekeeping, lna for 15 years and then got my LPN 10 years ago. I’m not afraid of hard work. I just don’t feel my body is ready. Everyday is a struggle just doing the little things I do at home including taking a shower. I get so exhausted and need a nap after. I have a sensitivity to medications and the side effects from my chemo pill are awful such as nausea, vomiting, feeling exhausted, body aches and the list goes on. Sorry to ramble. Just good to get this out as others don’t understand what I’m going through.